On the road with Ramashiva in Las Vegas
I know you guys are pissed because I haven't been sharing any of my titty bar experiences with you, so here you have a mixed titty bar and poker room review. That is why there is no OT prefix. There is actually some poker content in this post.
From the thread "OT: Roommates wanted" --
"Douglas Dunn" wrote:
: pokerchimp wrote:
: > actually, i once dated a vegetarian lesbian stripper...60 pounds
LMFAO!!! When I read this, I thought Jewish American Lesbian was saying that the fucking stripper weighed 60 pounds!
OMFG! ROFLMAO! That would be the ultimate skinny little broad with no tits, which, as you all know, is my ultimate fantasy love/sex body type.
Speaking of skinny little broads with no tits, I saw one yesterday on day shift at Crazy Horse Too, which is on Industrial just north of the Sahara overpass. Her name is Lisa. Lisa is a cocktail waitress training to be a stripper. Probably 5' 6", 80 pounds, and could pass for a man in the tit department. This girl was anorexic, to say the least. Pretty face, but drawn and emaciated.
Speaking of the Crazy Horse Too, it has been reborn, after losing its liquor license a few weeks (months?) ago. I experienced considerable schadenfreude when this happened, since I was rudely booted out of the club in 2001, after practically living there for several years. This was because some fucking stripper decided I was rude to her because I talked to her earlier, then decided to get lap dances from another girl, which I also regret.
This is one thing you have to be very careful about when hanging out in strip clubs. It is very easy to get tossed out of strip clubs, especially if you are outrageous like me, or even if you're not. I have been tossed out of three strip clubs -- Olympic Garden, 1998 -- Crazy Horse Too, 2001 -- and Cheetahs, 2006. The Cheetahs incident happened several months ago, and it involved a stripper simply lying to the bouncers because she thought I was rude to her.
So try to be super polite to everyone -- the strippers, the cocktail waitresses, the bouncers -- especially the bouncers. It never hurts to tip the bouncers $20 once in awhile. They especially like to get green and black checks from nearby casinos.
Speaking of Crazy Horse Too, this is as good a time as any to give you a comprehensive review, since this marked a grand homecoming for me to what has always been my favorite strip club in Las Vegas or anywhere else.
But let me begin at the beginning, but of course I couldn't do that, because I could easily write a series of thousand page novels on my experiences the last two months or so since I have been on the road. I have been back in Las Vegas for what, two weeks? But it's still like being on the road. I have been sleeping on my couch for two weeks because I tossed out my old mattress, expecting the delivery of a new extra firm Sealy Posturpedic Queen mattress from J.C. Penney. I ordered it a month ago, and I just found out yesterday it's still in a warehouse up in Reno. They told me delivery would be three weeks or or so, but still.
Anyway, I realized last Saturday that I am now addicted to or dependent on Ramashiva's Secret Formula -- Camel Turkish Gold 100s, Diet Coke, and Red Bull. I had a great Sabbath at the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Boulder City -- Sabbath Bible Study at 9:30, Worship Service at 11, followed by Sabbath potluck dinner. Sometimes the conversations at these potlucks go on for hours, and I got involved in one of these with several of the smarter guys at this church. One of them is a chiropracter named Jamie, and he seriously thinks I am doing long term damage to my health by going on these two and three day runs with no sleep fueled by Ramashiva's Secret Formula.
Chasened by Jamie, I finally left the Church about 5 pm; and I decided to go the rest of the day without Diet Coke and Red Bull. I was well rested that day when I went to Church, and had consumed a couple of Diet Coke/Red Bull/Orange Juice concoctions on the drive to Boulder City.
I have been so consumed by horniness and hustling women that I haven't been playing a lot of poker. Some, but not nearly enough to cover the approximately $4000 in travel expenses and $4000 in titty bar expenses I have racked up the last couple of months. I have been trying to get into playing at Binion's, since they seem to be the last place in town with a 5% rake, at least with a structured $4/$8 game, which is my preferred live game.
So I went downtown, and they had a good $4/$8 game. I started ordering extra spicy Virgin Marys and bottles of water, instead of Diet Coke and limes. They have no Red Bull or other energy drinks at Binion's. Shame on them.
By midnight, I was winning about $60 and running out of steam, so I went downstairs and ordered two of the 99 cent breakfast specials (no meat). I figured a big shot of protein and a couple of cigarettes (Yes, you can still smoke in Binion's coffee shop) would revive me. But no. I went back and tried to play, but I was so fatigued that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. When I am well rested and wound up on Red Bull and Diet Coke, I can stay up all night and well into the next day without feeling any fatigue whatsoever.
So I went home that night realizing I had an addiction problem. The next couple of days, through election day, I went cold turkey. Well, I still smoked a few cigarettes. The result was I basically slept on my couch for two days, except to wake up once in a while to eat and smoke a joint.
Wednesday, I realized I had to do something, so Wednesday afternoon I made my standard Costco run -- case of Diet Coke, case of Red Bull, big bag of limes, big bag of oranges. I then drove out to Boulder City for Wednesday night Bible Study, fueling up on Diet Coke and Red Bull on the way. Feeling good after Bible Study, I headed for Binion's.
I got there around 9, and they had no $4/$8 game, only $2/$4 limit and $1/$2 no limit. I guess I will have to learn to play no limit cash games, because that seems to be where most of the action is at Binion's these days. They frequently have $5/$10 no limit games as well.
Anyway, I hate playing in these $2/$4 games because of the 10% $4 max rake. I guess you can make a profit with supertight play against the truly mediocre opposition in these games, but why bother? One good thing about these games, when the action is six-handed or less, they make it $1 max rake. I have gotten that from three different shift supervisors, so I think that is standard policy.
But I was well rested and in a good mood (Red Bull has that effect), so I figured -- Fuck it. I have got to get some discipline back. I am well rested and feeling good. I am going to sit and play for at least eight hours, or as long as there is a game.
They also have regular tournaments going on at Binion's, so the poker room is now quite large. They must have at least 30 tables, maybe more.
They even have a tournament at 2 am, which attracted enough players to fill three tables. Not bad at 2 am in the middle of the week. Anyway, there were a lot of people around, including several outrageously sexy women, but they were all locked up by husbands/boyfriends, so even a brazen Ramashiva hustle was out of the question.
Needless to say, all these sexy women got my mind off poker and onto sex, but the only available women were two fat broads in the game from Michigan, who were staying up all night waiting to check into a hotel room. I briefly considered hustling them. I suppose they were fuckable. They both had pretty faces and likeable personalities. But I just didn't feel I could put a sincere hustle on them, so I didn't.
I went absolutely card dead in the game, and I wound up losing $28 by 5 am. The game was dominated most of the night by two obnoxious drunks who were friends and carried on a nonstop trashtalking bullshit commentary, which no one at the table found at all funny. If you try to have a conversation with anyone else at the table, they interject themselves into that conversation too. You know the type.
The game was still going strong at 5 am, so I went out to my car to refuel with cannabis and Red Bull. I got really fucking blasted. This pot I'm smoking right now is potent and EXTREMELY slow burning. It takes forever to smoke a joint, which is good.
I went back into the casino, and the two fat broads were playing slots. One of them is married, so I approached the single one and asked her if the game had broken up, which of course it had. I was actually going to hustle her if I had received any friendly or horny vibes. I didn't, so I didn't.
Now, I am wide awake, feeling fine, stoned on my butt. What am I going to do? Go home and post on RGP for 16 straight hours? Horny as hell? I don't think so. I went back out to my car, got two Red Bulls, and drank them with two 99 cent breakfast specials. By the way, besides being a big jolt of protein, four eggs are also a great source of lecithin, which is a great source of choline, which your body converts to acetylcholine, which is a fundamental neurotransmitter. I have found that a large dose of lecithin, either as a supplement or in food, is a great way to combat fatigue and keep mentally sharp. If you want to maximize the conversion of choline to acetylcholine, take one or more DMAE capsules and one or more good B100 capsules at the same time.
Naturally, the next place I find myself is cruising Industrial Road at 6 am, looking for an open strip club. This is when you know for sure that you are really horny, really lonely, and really desperate. When you are cruising Industrial Road at 6 am Thursday morning looking for an open strip club.
I drove past Crazy Horse Too and saw a bunch of cars outside, but I just kept on driving. The only other strip club I saw open was Sapphire's, I think that's the name. It's in the building behind the Stardust that used to be an athletic club. There were practically no cars in the parking lot, so I headed back to Crazy Horse Too.
Even though it had been five years since my rude ejection from Crazy Horse Too, I was reluctant to go back, because this is the Mafia we are talking about here, and when they throw you out of a strip club, they threaten to do all sorts of horrible things if you ever come back.
I figured that there must have been a complete change of management, including bouncers, for them to get their liquor license back, so I decided to chance it. None of these Mafia bouncers have ever laid a hand on me, except to frisk me for weapons, when ejecting me from a club. But they have been extremely rude, to say the least.
So I really wasn't too worried about getting beaten up. Naturally the club was completely dead at 6 am in the middle of the week. Naturally there was the usual complement of North Las Vegas crack whores, but there were a few decent looking white girls too, so I decided to stay. Incredibly, there was no girl dancing on stage. I immediately started complaining about this to the strippers, cocktail waitresses, and bouncers. Everyone told me the stage show would be starting shortly. For the next twelve hours, maybe two or three girls danced on stage.
This is idiocy. Most men who go into a strip club expect to see girls dancing on stage. They expect to see naked women doing outrageous things for the price of a drink. The fucking strippers in this club are too fucking lazy to get up on stage because they think there is no business. What happens when a live one like me walks in, sees there is no stage dancing, and walks out?
I stayed because I knew a lot of the girls were in the back napping or eating. The morning shift at Crazy Horse Too is 5 am to 1 pm. Normally a major strip club located next to the strip wouldn't be this dead, even at 6 am Thursday morning, but the place evidently just reopened, and it takes a while for word to get around.
After awhile this decent looking blonde made up to look like Marilyn Monroe and wearing a bra decided to seduce me. I just wasn't interested, because, while she was definitely stacked and pretty, she just didn't fit my skinny little broad with no tits profile.
But this fucking stripper decided to put the full tilt stripper seduction on me. She's sitting on my lap and starts kissing me passionately. Then she pulls out her tits and more or less forces me to suck on one of them. Then she pulls down her G-string and lets me see her pussy. Then she grabs my now erect penis through my Levis and starts stroking me vigorously. Fuck, I can't help but get turned on, but I NEVER give into this kind of hustle. I guess she figured she made my dick stiff, so that meant I would buy lap dances for sure.
By the way, this scenario is a way you can get cheap thrills in a strip club without spending any money. A lot of these broads will go the extra mile to try to get you to buy lap dances. I have even had dancers at Cheetahs grab my hand, shove one of my fingers up their pussy, and start humping my finger like crazy.
The major problem is that when you finally say "no", the girl is pissed because she gave you all the freebies. Unless the club is busy with a lot of dancers, word will quickly spread that you are just trying to get as much for free as you can. Also, these girls do get lonely, horny, and bored. Some of these girls will come and get cuddly and even get into heavy makeout/petting sessions with you, just to pass the time.
Anyway, just when I am trying to figure out how to get rid of this blonde without really pissing her off, another girl, named Cinnamon, showed up. Cinnamon, along with one other girl from day shift, is the major subject of this review. Cinnamon is 38, and claims to have been in the Army and served in Iraq. She is the classic veteran stripper -- perfectly sculpted body from years of working out and doing yoga for several hours everyday. About 5' 4", slender, but not extremely so, with nice, well proportioned, natural, non-sagging tits. She has long curly brown hair falling down around her shoulders. Dark complexion with big soulful brown eyes. She is probably too old for most of you guys, but I immediately saw a kindness and sadness in her eyes which attracted me right away. Of course beauty is subjective, but I would say she is very beautiful, and she wears absolutely no makeup. I know most of you guys have never seen a beautiful woman without makeup, but they don't look glamorous without makeup, just beautiful.
Anyway, I immediately invited her to sit down. I bought both girls drinks; and I started regaling these two strippers with tales of Tiffany, my vegetarian lesbian stripper girlfriend, which I cannot tell you guys about, because Tiffany made me promise to keep my fucking mouth shut about my activities with her, especially outside the strip club where I met her.
Cinnamon and I are a perfect match. Veteran stripper, veteran titty bar addict. The beautiful thing about Cinnamon is that all those years stripping haven't hardened her. Or she at least puts on a very good act of being kind and loving. She even got up on stage and danced, which is what I really like. I like flirting with the girls on stage and getting tits rubbed in my face for a dollar tip. This is my preferred method of selecting a girl when I go into a new strip club. I like to take several hours to check out all the talent, both on stage and off, before spending any money on anything but drinks. If a stripper hits on me and is real attractive, I will normally invite her to sit down and have a drink. If she starts hustling lap dances right away, I immediately lose interest, unless she is REALLY hot. Sometimes you meet a stripper like Tiffany, or Cinnamon, or Silver, whom I will tell you about later, and you just know right away that this girl is as good as it gets.
But, for example, the first time I met Tiffany, she came off the stage after dancing, and she sat and talked with me for a solid hour without mentioning lap dancing. I brought up the subject first. This is the type of girl I believe gives the highest quality titty bar experience.
To sum up -- Ramashiva's first rule of optimizing your titty bar experience -- You choose the girl. Don't let the girl choose you.
Second rule -- The best way to meet and evaluate girls is to flirt with them while they are dancing on stage. You can get a lot of cheap thrills that way and see whether they really turn you on. A beautiful stripper who knows how to dance and how to seduce men should make you want to grab her and fuck her on the spot.
While she was on stage, I verified that Cinnamon is in great shape, is a great dancer, can do all the advanced yoga poses and gymnastic maneuvers, and has NATURAL tits. I cannot stand boob jobs, especially since I like small tits in the first place.
Just about this time, they announced that everyone had to move to Cleopatra's Lounge while they cleaned up the main part of the club. Cleopatra's Lounge is REALLY dark, and there were no bouncers at all. Just the bartenders, cocktail waitress, strippers, and a few customers. The policy there is apparently that they really don't give a fuck what the girls do, as long as the girl is comfortable with it.
You know, I am so jaded that a lap dance, even a really good dry fucking lap dance, doesn't do that much for me. But I was glad to be freed of the onorous "no hands, no touching" rules I had put up with for a month at the Library, where I met Tiffany. I definitely do not recommend the Library to anyone, because they are super control freaks and seem determined to make sure no one has any fun in their club. I met some really beautiful, wonderful women there, including Tiffany, and another incredibly beautiful vegetarian lesbian stripper named Silver, who is absolutely the best stage dancer I have ever seen. Silver is also very bright and a blast to hang out with. She doesn't hustle you at all. She doesn't need to. The first time I met Silver, I did a few lap dances with her right before closing. The next time I came in, she sat and talked with me for three solid hours and never once brought up the subject of lap dancing. Finally I asked her --
Are you just a conversationalist, or do you also do lap dances?
Seriously, if you want to see perfection in the female form, as well as one of the most beautiful women on the planet, go see Silver at the Library. She works swing shift. Tell her Bill, that fat, baldheaded horny fucker, sent you. Her weak point is her lap dances, which are cold and artistic, not hot and passionate. Of course, she is hobbled by the incredibly strict rules at the Library.
Anyway, back to Cinnamon. We moved to Cleopatra's Lounge, and I still couldn't shake the blonde. She continued to talk as if it were a forgone conclusion that she and Cinnamon would both do lap dances for me. I kept telling her "no", but she was really insistent, so finally Cinnamon basically told me I would have to do at least one lap dance with the blonde, because she was talking to me first. I paid the blonde for one lap dance and she mercifully left.
I know you guys aren't interested in the clinical details of lap dances with Cinnamon, so I will keep that to a minimum. Also, if any law enforcement officials ever question me about the following, I will claim that I made everything up and none of it ever happened.
Cinnamon strips down to nothing but a scanty thin cloth G-string under her regular G-string. You can see her pussy perfectly outlined, and she obligingly pulls back her G-string so you can see her pussy when she has it right in your face. I am pretty sure her regular customers get to lick that pussy, but I didn't want to press my luck. I had complete, unrestricted access to her titties, including fondling, kneading, kissing, licking, sucking, etc. She even started kissing me. Teasingly at first, but then we got into a full blown makeout session. I told her I wasn't interested in all the acrobatic lapdancing bullshit, just face to face intimacy with dry fucking, etc. Pretty soon she was straddling me, which is strictly forbidden at the Library, riding my fully erect cock with nothing on but that thin little G-string, while kissing me passionately, letting me play with her tits, ass, or whatever else I wanted to grab. That's pretty much the way it went for the next five hours, even when I was not paying for lap dances.
I imagine the other strippers, who were hanging out at a table and at the bar, were thinking --
What the fuck are they doing? She is not even doing lap dances. They are just dry fucking each others brains out and making out like a couple of teenagers.
In other words, great lap dances. The only problem is that she has the annoying habit of breaking out laughing at the most passionate moments. Also, she is a walking music encyclopedia. Every song that comes on, she knows the artist, the band members, who else has covered the song, etc.
I started lap dances with her about 8, and we continued until she got off at 1. I first bought two sets of three dances at $60/set. Then, when I saw how much fun I was having, I negotiated bulk purchases of 6 dances for $100, and I spent another $200 that way. She wasn't at all pushy about more lap dances, but, if you expect to have the undivided attention of a beautiful stripper like this for several hours, you have to spend some money. I spent a total of $320 on lap dances and maybe $80 on drinks. In other words, about $80/hour.
At the end of her shift, Cinnamon got back up on stage and danced for me the last 15 minutes of her shift. It was like a clinic in stage dancing for the other strippers in the club, and they all knew it. Their comments and reactions made that obvious. The girl has class.
Anyway, Cinnamon gets the Ramashiva Five Star Award as a truly outstanding Las Vegas stripper. Maybe she won't appeal to you the way she appealed to me, but I am certain most men would find her extremely beautiful and sexy.
After five hours of being throroughly worked over by Cinnamon, I was too stimulated to sleep, especially since I was knocking back Red Bull clones with ice and lime at a pretty good pace. So I wound up staying through day shift, and left about 9 pm. I didn't buy any more lap dances because I was just too tired and satiated to enjoy them. I did buy a few strippers drinks and flirt with a few of them on stage when they finally started having girls dance on stage.
But the highlight of my post-Cinnamon experience was a beautiful young Puerto Rican stripper named Jayda (spelling?). After Cinnamon left, I strategically positioned myself at the corner of the stage near a row of chairs along a wall where the girls do most of their lap dances. I have to tell you, I get more turned on watching a beautiful woman doing a lap dance than I do being the recipient. Plus, it's free.
Jayda is young, I would guess 18 - 22, classic skinny little broad with no tits, and absolutely gorgeous. She doesn't really look Hispanic. She has black hair, but a fair complexion.
I have to tell you that watching this girl give lap dances is the most erotic experience I have ever had in a strip club. She also danced on stage once and is a fabulous stage dancer. I watched her in operation for several hours. She sat and talked to one guy at the bar for about three hours, then took him to a chair near where I was sitting and did just three lap dances. After that, she got more active, and brought one guy after another over for lap dances. Twice I tipped her $10 when she walked by me after some lap dances. I told her that I really got off watching her and felt I should tip her. She just laughed, and she didn't even try to hustle me for lap dances. That shows a lot of class.
Again, Five Star Award for Jayda, who is undoubtedly the Queen of day shift, at least in my book. Day shift is 1 pm to 9 pm, in case you are interested.
William Coleman (ramashiva)
From the thread "OT: Roommates wanted" --
"Douglas Dunn" wrote:
: pokerchimp wrote:
: > actually, i once dated a vegetarian lesbian stripper...60 pounds
LMFAO!!! When I read this, I thought Jewish American Lesbian was saying that the fucking stripper weighed 60 pounds!
OMFG! ROFLMAO! That would be the ultimate skinny little broad with no tits, which, as you all know, is my ultimate fantasy love/sex body type.
Speaking of skinny little broads with no tits, I saw one yesterday on day shift at Crazy Horse Too, which is on Industrial just north of the Sahara overpass. Her name is Lisa. Lisa is a cocktail waitress training to be a stripper. Probably 5' 6", 80 pounds, and could pass for a man in the tit department. This girl was anorexic, to say the least. Pretty face, but drawn and emaciated.
Speaking of the Crazy Horse Too, it has been reborn, after losing its liquor license a few weeks (months?) ago. I experienced considerable schadenfreude when this happened, since I was rudely booted out of the club in 2001, after practically living there for several years. This was because some fucking stripper decided I was rude to her because I talked to her earlier, then decided to get lap dances from another girl, which I also regret.
This is one thing you have to be very careful about when hanging out in strip clubs. It is very easy to get tossed out of strip clubs, especially if you are outrageous like me, or even if you're not. I have been tossed out of three strip clubs -- Olympic Garden, 1998 -- Crazy Horse Too, 2001 -- and Cheetahs, 2006. The Cheetahs incident happened several months ago, and it involved a stripper simply lying to the bouncers because she thought I was rude to her.
So try to be super polite to everyone -- the strippers, the cocktail waitresses, the bouncers -- especially the bouncers. It never hurts to tip the bouncers $20 once in awhile. They especially like to get green and black checks from nearby casinos.
Speaking of Crazy Horse Too, this is as good a time as any to give you a comprehensive review, since this marked a grand homecoming for me to what has always been my favorite strip club in Las Vegas or anywhere else.
But let me begin at the beginning, but of course I couldn't do that, because I could easily write a series of thousand page novels on my experiences the last two months or so since I have been on the road. I have been back in Las Vegas for what, two weeks? But it's still like being on the road. I have been sleeping on my couch for two weeks because I tossed out my old mattress, expecting the delivery of a new extra firm Sealy Posturpedic Queen mattress from J.C. Penney. I ordered it a month ago, and I just found out yesterday it's still in a warehouse up in Reno. They told me delivery would be three weeks or or so, but still.
Anyway, I realized last Saturday that I am now addicted to or dependent on Ramashiva's Secret Formula -- Camel Turkish Gold 100s, Diet Coke, and Red Bull. I had a great Sabbath at the Seventh Day Adventist Church in Boulder City -- Sabbath Bible Study at 9:30, Worship Service at 11, followed by Sabbath potluck dinner. Sometimes the conversations at these potlucks go on for hours, and I got involved in one of these with several of the smarter guys at this church. One of them is a chiropracter named Jamie, and he seriously thinks I am doing long term damage to my health by going on these two and three day runs with no sleep fueled by Ramashiva's Secret Formula.
Chasened by Jamie, I finally left the Church about 5 pm; and I decided to go the rest of the day without Diet Coke and Red Bull. I was well rested that day when I went to Church, and had consumed a couple of Diet Coke/Red Bull/Orange Juice concoctions on the drive to Boulder City.
I have been so consumed by horniness and hustling women that I haven't been playing a lot of poker. Some, but not nearly enough to cover the approximately $4000 in travel expenses and $4000 in titty bar expenses I have racked up the last couple of months. I have been trying to get into playing at Binion's, since they seem to be the last place in town with a 5% rake, at least with a structured $4/$8 game, which is my preferred live game.
So I went downtown, and they had a good $4/$8 game. I started ordering extra spicy Virgin Marys and bottles of water, instead of Diet Coke and limes. They have no Red Bull or other energy drinks at Binion's. Shame on them.
By midnight, I was winning about $60 and running out of steam, so I went downstairs and ordered two of the 99 cent breakfast specials (no meat). I figured a big shot of protein and a couple of cigarettes (Yes, you can still smoke in Binion's coffee shop) would revive me. But no. I went back and tried to play, but I was so fatigued that I couldn't even keep my eyes open. When I am well rested and wound up on Red Bull and Diet Coke, I can stay up all night and well into the next day without feeling any fatigue whatsoever.
So I went home that night realizing I had an addiction problem. The next couple of days, through election day, I went cold turkey. Well, I still smoked a few cigarettes. The result was I basically slept on my couch for two days, except to wake up once in a while to eat and smoke a joint.
Wednesday, I realized I had to do something, so Wednesday afternoon I made my standard Costco run -- case of Diet Coke, case of Red Bull, big bag of limes, big bag of oranges. I then drove out to Boulder City for Wednesday night Bible Study, fueling up on Diet Coke and Red Bull on the way. Feeling good after Bible Study, I headed for Binion's.
I got there around 9, and they had no $4/$8 game, only $2/$4 limit and $1/$2 no limit. I guess I will have to learn to play no limit cash games, because that seems to be where most of the action is at Binion's these days. They frequently have $5/$10 no limit games as well.
Anyway, I hate playing in these $2/$4 games because of the 10% $4 max rake. I guess you can make a profit with supertight play against the truly mediocre opposition in these games, but why bother? One good thing about these games, when the action is six-handed or less, they make it $1 max rake. I have gotten that from three different shift supervisors, so I think that is standard policy.
But I was well rested and in a good mood (Red Bull has that effect), so I figured -- Fuck it. I have got to get some discipline back. I am well rested and feeling good. I am going to sit and play for at least eight hours, or as long as there is a game.
They also have regular tournaments going on at Binion's, so the poker room is now quite large. They must have at least 30 tables, maybe more.
They even have a tournament at 2 am, which attracted enough players to fill three tables. Not bad at 2 am in the middle of the week. Anyway, there were a lot of people around, including several outrageously sexy women, but they were all locked up by husbands/boyfriends, so even a brazen Ramashiva hustle was out of the question.
Needless to say, all these sexy women got my mind off poker and onto sex, but the only available women were two fat broads in the game from Michigan, who were staying up all night waiting to check into a hotel room. I briefly considered hustling them. I suppose they were fuckable. They both had pretty faces and likeable personalities. But I just didn't feel I could put a sincere hustle on them, so I didn't.
I went absolutely card dead in the game, and I wound up losing $28 by 5 am. The game was dominated most of the night by two obnoxious drunks who were friends and carried on a nonstop trashtalking bullshit commentary, which no one at the table found at all funny. If you try to have a conversation with anyone else at the table, they interject themselves into that conversation too. You know the type.
The game was still going strong at 5 am, so I went out to my car to refuel with cannabis and Red Bull. I got really fucking blasted. This pot I'm smoking right now is potent and EXTREMELY slow burning. It takes forever to smoke a joint, which is good.
I went back into the casino, and the two fat broads were playing slots. One of them is married, so I approached the single one and asked her if the game had broken up, which of course it had. I was actually going to hustle her if I had received any friendly or horny vibes. I didn't, so I didn't.
Now, I am wide awake, feeling fine, stoned on my butt. What am I going to do? Go home and post on RGP for 16 straight hours? Horny as hell? I don't think so. I went back out to my car, got two Red Bulls, and drank them with two 99 cent breakfast specials. By the way, besides being a big jolt of protein, four eggs are also a great source of lecithin, which is a great source of choline, which your body converts to acetylcholine, which is a fundamental neurotransmitter. I have found that a large dose of lecithin, either as a supplement or in food, is a great way to combat fatigue and keep mentally sharp. If you want to maximize the conversion of choline to acetylcholine, take one or more DMAE capsules and one or more good B100 capsules at the same time.
Naturally, the next place I find myself is cruising Industrial Road at 6 am, looking for an open strip club. This is when you know for sure that you are really horny, really lonely, and really desperate. When you are cruising Industrial Road at 6 am Thursday morning looking for an open strip club.
I drove past Crazy Horse Too and saw a bunch of cars outside, but I just kept on driving. The only other strip club I saw open was Sapphire's, I think that's the name. It's in the building behind the Stardust that used to be an athletic club. There were practically no cars in the parking lot, so I headed back to Crazy Horse Too.
Even though it had been five years since my rude ejection from Crazy Horse Too, I was reluctant to go back, because this is the Mafia we are talking about here, and when they throw you out of a strip club, they threaten to do all sorts of horrible things if you ever come back.
I figured that there must have been a complete change of management, including bouncers, for them to get their liquor license back, so I decided to chance it. None of these Mafia bouncers have ever laid a hand on me, except to frisk me for weapons, when ejecting me from a club. But they have been extremely rude, to say the least.
So I really wasn't too worried about getting beaten up. Naturally the club was completely dead at 6 am in the middle of the week. Naturally there was the usual complement of North Las Vegas crack whores, but there were a few decent looking white girls too, so I decided to stay. Incredibly, there was no girl dancing on stage. I immediately started complaining about this to the strippers, cocktail waitresses, and bouncers. Everyone told me the stage show would be starting shortly. For the next twelve hours, maybe two or three girls danced on stage.
This is idiocy. Most men who go into a strip club expect to see girls dancing on stage. They expect to see naked women doing outrageous things for the price of a drink. The fucking strippers in this club are too fucking lazy to get up on stage because they think there is no business. What happens when a live one like me walks in, sees there is no stage dancing, and walks out?
I stayed because I knew a lot of the girls were in the back napping or eating. The morning shift at Crazy Horse Too is 5 am to 1 pm. Normally a major strip club located next to the strip wouldn't be this dead, even at 6 am Thursday morning, but the place evidently just reopened, and it takes a while for word to get around.
After awhile this decent looking blonde made up to look like Marilyn Monroe and wearing a bra decided to seduce me. I just wasn't interested, because, while she was definitely stacked and pretty, she just didn't fit my skinny little broad with no tits profile.
But this fucking stripper decided to put the full tilt stripper seduction on me. She's sitting on my lap and starts kissing me passionately. Then she pulls out her tits and more or less forces me to suck on one of them. Then she pulls down her G-string and lets me see her pussy. Then she grabs my now erect penis through my Levis and starts stroking me vigorously. Fuck, I can't help but get turned on, but I NEVER give into this kind of hustle. I guess she figured she made my dick stiff, so that meant I would buy lap dances for sure.
By the way, this scenario is a way you can get cheap thrills in a strip club without spending any money. A lot of these broads will go the extra mile to try to get you to buy lap dances. I have even had dancers at Cheetahs grab my hand, shove one of my fingers up their pussy, and start humping my finger like crazy.
The major problem is that when you finally say "no", the girl is pissed because she gave you all the freebies. Unless the club is busy with a lot of dancers, word will quickly spread that you are just trying to get as much for free as you can. Also, these girls do get lonely, horny, and bored. Some of these girls will come and get cuddly and even get into heavy makeout/petting sessions with you, just to pass the time.
Anyway, just when I am trying to figure out how to get rid of this blonde without really pissing her off, another girl, named Cinnamon, showed up. Cinnamon, along with one other girl from day shift, is the major subject of this review. Cinnamon is 38, and claims to have been in the Army and served in Iraq. She is the classic veteran stripper -- perfectly sculpted body from years of working out and doing yoga for several hours everyday. About 5' 4", slender, but not extremely so, with nice, well proportioned, natural, non-sagging tits. She has long curly brown hair falling down around her shoulders. Dark complexion with big soulful brown eyes. She is probably too old for most of you guys, but I immediately saw a kindness and sadness in her eyes which attracted me right away. Of course beauty is subjective, but I would say she is very beautiful, and she wears absolutely no makeup. I know most of you guys have never seen a beautiful woman without makeup, but they don't look glamorous without makeup, just beautiful.
Anyway, I immediately invited her to sit down. I bought both girls drinks; and I started regaling these two strippers with tales of Tiffany, my vegetarian lesbian stripper girlfriend, which I cannot tell you guys about, because Tiffany made me promise to keep my fucking mouth shut about my activities with her, especially outside the strip club where I met her.
Cinnamon and I are a perfect match. Veteran stripper, veteran titty bar addict. The beautiful thing about Cinnamon is that all those years stripping haven't hardened her. Or she at least puts on a very good act of being kind and loving. She even got up on stage and danced, which is what I really like. I like flirting with the girls on stage and getting tits rubbed in my face for a dollar tip. This is my preferred method of selecting a girl when I go into a new strip club. I like to take several hours to check out all the talent, both on stage and off, before spending any money on anything but drinks. If a stripper hits on me and is real attractive, I will normally invite her to sit down and have a drink. If she starts hustling lap dances right away, I immediately lose interest, unless she is REALLY hot. Sometimes you meet a stripper like Tiffany, or Cinnamon, or Silver, whom I will tell you about later, and you just know right away that this girl is as good as it gets.
But, for example, the first time I met Tiffany, she came off the stage after dancing, and she sat and talked with me for a solid hour without mentioning lap dancing. I brought up the subject first. This is the type of girl I believe gives the highest quality titty bar experience.
To sum up -- Ramashiva's first rule of optimizing your titty bar experience -- You choose the girl. Don't let the girl choose you.
Second rule -- The best way to meet and evaluate girls is to flirt with them while they are dancing on stage. You can get a lot of cheap thrills that way and see whether they really turn you on. A beautiful stripper who knows how to dance and how to seduce men should make you want to grab her and fuck her on the spot.
While she was on stage, I verified that Cinnamon is in great shape, is a great dancer, can do all the advanced yoga poses and gymnastic maneuvers, and has NATURAL tits. I cannot stand boob jobs, especially since I like small tits in the first place.
Just about this time, they announced that everyone had to move to Cleopatra's Lounge while they cleaned up the main part of the club. Cleopatra's Lounge is REALLY dark, and there were no bouncers at all. Just the bartenders, cocktail waitress, strippers, and a few customers. The policy there is apparently that they really don't give a fuck what the girls do, as long as the girl is comfortable with it.
You know, I am so jaded that a lap dance, even a really good dry fucking lap dance, doesn't do that much for me. But I was glad to be freed of the onorous "no hands, no touching" rules I had put up with for a month at the Library, where I met Tiffany. I definitely do not recommend the Library to anyone, because they are super control freaks and seem determined to make sure no one has any fun in their club. I met some really beautiful, wonderful women there, including Tiffany, and another incredibly beautiful vegetarian lesbian stripper named Silver, who is absolutely the best stage dancer I have ever seen. Silver is also very bright and a blast to hang out with. She doesn't hustle you at all. She doesn't need to. The first time I met Silver, I did a few lap dances with her right before closing. The next time I came in, she sat and talked with me for three solid hours and never once brought up the subject of lap dancing. Finally I asked her --
Are you just a conversationalist, or do you also do lap dances?
Seriously, if you want to see perfection in the female form, as well as one of the most beautiful women on the planet, go see Silver at the Library. She works swing shift. Tell her Bill, that fat, baldheaded horny fucker, sent you. Her weak point is her lap dances, which are cold and artistic, not hot and passionate. Of course, she is hobbled by the incredibly strict rules at the Library.
Anyway, back to Cinnamon. We moved to Cleopatra's Lounge, and I still couldn't shake the blonde. She continued to talk as if it were a forgone conclusion that she and Cinnamon would both do lap dances for me. I kept telling her "no", but she was really insistent, so finally Cinnamon basically told me I would have to do at least one lap dance with the blonde, because she was talking to me first. I paid the blonde for one lap dance and she mercifully left.
I know you guys aren't interested in the clinical details of lap dances with Cinnamon, so I will keep that to a minimum. Also, if any law enforcement officials ever question me about the following, I will claim that I made everything up and none of it ever happened.
Cinnamon strips down to nothing but a scanty thin cloth G-string under her regular G-string. You can see her pussy perfectly outlined, and she obligingly pulls back her G-string so you can see her pussy when she has it right in your face. I am pretty sure her regular customers get to lick that pussy, but I didn't want to press my luck. I had complete, unrestricted access to her titties, including fondling, kneading, kissing, licking, sucking, etc. She even started kissing me. Teasingly at first, but then we got into a full blown makeout session. I told her I wasn't interested in all the acrobatic lapdancing bullshit, just face to face intimacy with dry fucking, etc. Pretty soon she was straddling me, which is strictly forbidden at the Library, riding my fully erect cock with nothing on but that thin little G-string, while kissing me passionately, letting me play with her tits, ass, or whatever else I wanted to grab. That's pretty much the way it went for the next five hours, even when I was not paying for lap dances.
I imagine the other strippers, who were hanging out at a table and at the bar, were thinking --
What the fuck are they doing? She is not even doing lap dances. They are just dry fucking each others brains out and making out like a couple of teenagers.
In other words, great lap dances. The only problem is that she has the annoying habit of breaking out laughing at the most passionate moments. Also, she is a walking music encyclopedia. Every song that comes on, she knows the artist, the band members, who else has covered the song, etc.
I started lap dances with her about 8, and we continued until she got off at 1. I first bought two sets of three dances at $60/set. Then, when I saw how much fun I was having, I negotiated bulk purchases of 6 dances for $100, and I spent another $200 that way. She wasn't at all pushy about more lap dances, but, if you expect to have the undivided attention of a beautiful stripper like this for several hours, you have to spend some money. I spent a total of $320 on lap dances and maybe $80 on drinks. In other words, about $80/hour.
At the end of her shift, Cinnamon got back up on stage and danced for me the last 15 minutes of her shift. It was like a clinic in stage dancing for the other strippers in the club, and they all knew it. Their comments and reactions made that obvious. The girl has class.
Anyway, Cinnamon gets the Ramashiva Five Star Award as a truly outstanding Las Vegas stripper. Maybe she won't appeal to you the way she appealed to me, but I am certain most men would find her extremely beautiful and sexy.
After five hours of being throroughly worked over by Cinnamon, I was too stimulated to sleep, especially since I was knocking back Red Bull clones with ice and lime at a pretty good pace. So I wound up staying through day shift, and left about 9 pm. I didn't buy any more lap dances because I was just too tired and satiated to enjoy them. I did buy a few strippers drinks and flirt with a few of them on stage when they finally started having girls dance on stage.
But the highlight of my post-Cinnamon experience was a beautiful young Puerto Rican stripper named Jayda (spelling?). After Cinnamon left, I strategically positioned myself at the corner of the stage near a row of chairs along a wall where the girls do most of their lap dances. I have to tell you, I get more turned on watching a beautiful woman doing a lap dance than I do being the recipient. Plus, it's free.
Jayda is young, I would guess 18 - 22, classic skinny little broad with no tits, and absolutely gorgeous. She doesn't really look Hispanic. She has black hair, but a fair complexion.
I have to tell you that watching this girl give lap dances is the most erotic experience I have ever had in a strip club. She also danced on stage once and is a fabulous stage dancer. I watched her in operation for several hours. She sat and talked to one guy at the bar for about three hours, then took him to a chair near where I was sitting and did just three lap dances. After that, she got more active, and brought one guy after another over for lap dances. Twice I tipped her $10 when she walked by me after some lap dances. I told her that I really got off watching her and felt I should tip her. She just laughed, and she didn't even try to hustle me for lap dances. That shows a lot of class.
Again, Five Star Award for Jayda, who is undoubtedly the Queen of day shift, at least in my book. Day shift is 1 pm to 9 pm, in case you are interested.
William Coleman (ramashiva)
posted by William Coleman at 7:53 PM
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